WHAT SELF CARE LOOKS LIKE FOR ME
Self Care is a concept that has been around for a while and will be different for each individual. It has taken some time to grasp what it means for me. It is not about anybody else but is entirely self focussed and involves:-
– Accepting who you are.
– Believing in yourself.
– Caring about yourself.
My approach to self care focusses on both internal and external processes and activities. It is all about how I am being each day and realising how my thoughts and expectations may be influencing and affecting my actions and reactions.
This is the what and how my internal self care process over the last year:-
- Being a friend to myself – a friend is kind, accepting, supportive, encouraging, helpful and uplighting.
- Finding ways to quieten and shut down my inner critic monster who wants to put me down, tell me I am not good enough or you can’t do that and compare me with others. Did you know that the person you hear from or talk to most each day is yourself? No matter how much other people mention your positive attributes you still tend to believe that inner critic monster who just wants to derail you with irrational thoughts.
- Creating a new habit – A year ago I planted a great big red STOP SIGN inside my head in an attempt to derail my negative thoughts and messages. Every time that voice tried to interfere my STOP SIGN would pop up and push it aside. Over time this has worked for me and I have been quite surprised at how much power I was giving away to something that only existed inside my head. However on days when I am feeling tired or overwhelmed that inner critic tries to rear it’s ugly head.
- There is no such thing as perfection. I think that perfection is great friends with our inner critic and wants us to feel we are never good enough because we don’t look a certain way, have a big house, an expensive car or travel the world. Once again comparison becomes the enemy and places us in a negative space if we let it.
- Looking for the magic moments in my day.
- Checking in with myself regularly to recognise how my thoughts and actions are helping or hindering my day and reframing if I need to.
- Gifting myself and others with a compliment each day.
My external self care process involves doing activities that I enjoy and make me feel whole. These activitie include:-
- being in my garden
- reading each night before sleeping
- taking the time for a long soak in the bath with lots of bubbles (maybe once a month)
- doing a creative activity such as collaging, knitting, sewing, gardening
- catching up with friends
- going on a date with my husband
- pilates class once a week and home program three times a week
All these activities involve people or involve creating and keep my tank full. These activities need to be scheduled into my monthly diary.
For me it is about looking out for myself and valuing me as a person
To contribute to anyone else’s life you need to feel good about your self. This let’s you give more in a positive way without draining your own energy.
What is your version of self care?