Confident Style – Your Way Every Day

Lessons from the Last Decade

June 30, 2018

Ten Lessons from the Last Decade

 

WHAT HAVE BEEN MY TEN LESSONS FROM THE LAST DECADE 

June is my birthday month and I have celebrated turning 60 and feel very privileged to be moving into the next decade of my life. It has been a great adventure and time of reflection for me. I realise that the last ten years have involved much change for me both personally and professionally. Moving into the next decade of my life has prompted me to look back at what :-

  • has changed for me
  • is different for me and
  • what lessons I have learnt.

These are my ten life lessons from the last decade:-

LESSON 1 –  Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Just over ten years ago I stepped out of my comfort zone and resigned from a much loved 26 year teaching career. I had no idea what I was going to do next and while this felt right for me it certainly was scary. There was much self doubt about what I could and would do next. I tried very hard to let myself believe that something would come up and let myself be open to the thought of new and different opportunites.

What happened next was a complete surprise. I applied for a job as a Kitchen Designer and thought I had nothing to lose, at the very least I might get some interview practice. Well I walked out of the interview in a state of shock and fear – I got the job and believed I had no skills in this area. Many sleepless nights followed because of my self doubts and feelings of not being good enough. Yes it certainly was a steep learning curve and challenging for me but I came to realise that my teaching career had given me many skills that I had not realised were transferable to different situations. Doubting your own capabilities only limits your possibilities.

Career wise I was not finished stepping out of my comfort zone. I also decided to undertake study in Personal Styling and Image Consultancy which led me to make the terrifying decision to start my own business. This has been the most terrifying, challenging and wonderful experience. and I am so glad I stepped out of my comfort zone and let myself be open to new challenges.

 LESSON 2 – Permission to Say No Without Guilt

I use to chase my tail most of the time with an overcrowded work, social and family commitments. I couldn’t say no and was always juggling my calendar to fit everything in. I think I didn’t want to miss out on anything and thought that if I said no I wouldn’t be asked again. Yes, I realise now not saying no had a lot to do with my own self worth. This approach left very little time for me to think about myself, perhaps I was just trying to avoid this.

Now that has changed. I realised that I was not super human (oh no) and running myself into the ground. This was not a very healthy and productive way to live. I can now say no without guilt and I am stronger in both mind and body because of this. My schedule now allows for ‘me’ time.

LESSON 3 – Accept and Believe in Yourself

I was not always a friend to myself. My self doubts were crippling me. I always thought I had a positive approach to life but neglected to realise that my internal voice was always one of self doubt and saboutage. No matter how positive I was on the outside my inner self was always doubting and beating me up. Developing a sense of self worth and  self acceptance started to happen after I did my Personal Styling and Image Consultancy training. I now was working from an inside out approach and truly looking at who I really was. I could never have imagined the imapct of this. Over the last five years I have developed a much stronger internal platform to face what life throws at me because I value, accept and believe in myself. I really like the person that I am.

LESSON 4 – You Can’t be Everything to Everyone

What a lesson this was. I have always been someone who wanted to be there for others but the problem was I wanted to be able to fix everything for them. That is not possible. You can be there to support, help and guide others but you cannot fix their problems.

LESSON 5 – I Know My WHY

Why do we do the things we do? This is a big question that is not easy to answer while we are busy living day to day. When I was starting my Individually You I was asked the question ‘What is Your Why,’ I didn’t have an answer. It took much reflection, time and energy for me to realise that my WHY was to make a difference. I want to make a difference every day to myself and everyone that I meet. I want to give people a reson to smile  feel good about themselves. Realising this has had a positive impact on my internal thoughts and external behaviours in my personal and professional life. It kept me accountable to being true to the person I wanted to be. Thank you Shar Moore  for asking me this question.

LESSON 6 – Connecting with Others is Important for Me

Working from home made me realise how much I enjoyed and needed to be with people. When I first started to work from home it took me a while to realise that my energy levels, productivity and feelings of motivation were decreasing when I wasn’t interacting with others. I enjoy and need to be around others to feel balanced so now make time and plan for this.

LESSON 7 – My Emotions and Thoughts and Actions have a Strong Impact on My Overall Wellbeing

Why did it take me soooo long to realise this? To be physically and emotionally strong relates very much to my own sense of self belief, self acceptance and self care. When I carried around and supported my negative emotions and thoughts I created so much unneeded tension within my body. This created physical pain and illness. Now that my internal thoughts and feelings are stronger I am not as reactive and approach most days in a positive frame of mind. I am not sweating the little stuff.

LESSON 8 – Just Do It Now

Procrastination is an energy drain. Quite often I would delay doing some tasks. These were usually small tasks that really wouldn’t take long to do or tasks that I didn’t like doing. These tasks would pile up and annoy me. Sometimes it was simply moving something from one area of the house to where it actually belonged or filling out a form – (don’t like paperwork).

I made a conscious decision to adopt a DO IT NOW approach towards these tasks. When I would see something that was annoying me such as the folded washing still sitting on the lounge or the hand basin needing a clean a voice in my head now yells JUST DO IT NOW and you will feel better. This has worked for me. I also try to start my work day doing a task that I don’t like so at least I feel good about making progress instead of feeling guilty and having this task hanging over my head.

LESSON 9 – Self Care is Important

Self care starts with the little things we do for ourselves each day. It is not to be confused with being selfish. The first step towards self care for me was accepting and liking myself and trying to turn off my inner critic. The next step involved taking notice of how my body was feeling because I realised that my body reacted with pain when I wasn’t taking care of myself. Self care will be different for everyone. When your body lets you down then you are not able to support others or yourself.

LESSON 10 – Age Does Not Define YOU

Being a year older does not have to mean you are old. Being old is a state of mind, yes changes happen to our body but that is so for everyone. The only alternative to having another birthday is death and that is not an option I want.  I want  this decade to be one of strength, style, surprises and celebrations.

“Age is out of your control.

How you handle it though, is in your hands.”

Diane von Furstenburg

 

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B is for Bra Support

May 25, 2018

B is for Bra Support

 

B IS FOR BRA SUPPORT

Most women overlok a very important element when creating an outfit. This element isn’t even visible but it can impact on how flattering and enhancing your outfit appears as well as how comfrotable you feel. You can change the look of an outfit by wearing a good fitting bra.

BENEFITS OF WEARING A WELL FITTING BRA

  • Breasts will be supported and uplifted so that the fullest part of your breasts sits halfway between your shoulders and elbow thus lengthening the mid section of your body and creating the illusion of a waist even if you don’t have one.
  • Stay uplifted and suppported by adjusting the straps of you bra as they stretch over time. Ideally you want to be able to fit no more than two fingers between the strap and your body.
  • Your overall silhouette will be enhanced.
  • Comfort is improved greatly. You avoid boob spillage, straps digging into your shoulders or falling off and the band riding up all the time.
  • Can have a reduced impact on back, neck and shoulder pain especially if your breasts are larger.
  • Save time, money and frustration by shopping where there is a professional fitter. I had my first bra fitting five years ago and it  is the best thing I ever did. Size is determined by circumference measurement of your breast (cup size) and circumference of the area just below the breasts (band size). If you need a bigger cup size you need to godown a band size.

 

FIND THE RIGHT BRA SUPPPORT

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF A WELL FITTTED BRA 

SUPPORT YOURSELF EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY BY HAVING A PROFESSIONAL BRA FITTING

 

 

 

 

 

 

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What is Your Shoe Style?

May 11, 2018

What is your shoe style?

 

WHAT IS YOUR SHOE STYLE?

Shoes are an important element when putting together an outfit, look what they did for Cinderella and Dorothy. There are shoes for for all ocassions,  varied styles and in many colours.

Everyone has unique style preferences when it comes to choosing the shoes that are ‘just right’ for them. These style preferences relate to your Personality Style. The elements that relate to your shoe Personality Style include:-

  • colour,
  • shapes and styles,
  • comfort level,
  • level of detail,
  • heel shape and height,
  • fabric choice

Last week I visited Tascha at Mainstreet Shoes in Queanbeyan and talked all things shoe related.  Let’s look at What’s Your Shoe Style. Remember when you look at these photos that your shoe preferences can be a combination of a few of these Personality Styles.

 

CLASSIC SHOE STYLE

Classic shoes have a timeless, understated classy look. They are mainly in neutral colours with a low vamp and do not have much detail. The classic style includes court shoes with low to medium heel height.

 

NATURAL / RELAXED SHOE STYLE

 Natural / Relaxed shoe styles are generally practical, comfortable and functional with a no fuss look. A low heel is the preferred option with comfort being the number one factor in selecting shoes. The patterned floral print shoe at the front is a combination of  relaxed / natural style with a feminine floral print in creative colours.

 

FEMININE SHOE STYLE

Feminine shoe styles include court shoes, ballet flats and slip ons. Heels can be low or high and usually in colours to match outfits. These shoes will not be shiny or chunky but will have soft feminine features such as bows, ribbons, lace, flowers and sparkles.

 

CREATIVE SHOE STYLE

Creative shoe styles include shoes with quirky and interesting detail such as unusual construction, styles, shapes, any patterns and combination of colours. These shoe styles will make a statement and create a focal point in your outfit.

 

DRAMATIC SHOE STYLE

Dramatic shoe styles are usually bold, and make a modern, contemporary statement. High heels, stilettos and pointed toes are usually preferred to flats. Geometric, graphic and animal prints are favoured. The animal print flat shoe would be a combination of relaxed and dramtic because of the animal print.

 

ELEGANT CHIC SHOE STYLE

Elegant Chic shoe styles have a modern, sophisticated look. They are usually court shoes or ballet flat styles with metal decorations such as discs, buckles and flat squares. Preferred colours are usually light to medium neutrals – grey, camel, browns, burgundies and blues but nothing too dark or bright.

 

REBELLIOUS / SEXY SHOE STYLE

Rebellious / Sexy shoe styles are those that are somewhat unconventional or really sexy. The favoured colour is black and more black. Shoe styles in this group include doc martins, motorcyle boots, metal detailing such as chains, spikes and buckles and very high sexy styles.

Take a look at the shoes you love to wear and take note of the elements that you like to wear. These elements become your Shoe Personality.

 

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Your Wardrobe Health Checklist

April 26, 2018

Your Wardrobe Health Checklist

 

YOUR WARDROBE HEALTH CHECKLIST

Have you ever thought about the health of your wardrobe? This Wardrobe Health Checklist outlines the elements that contribute to creating a wardrobe that supports you physically and emotionally.  Go from wardrobe worries to wardrobe wonder.

How much of the clothing in your wardrobe are you wearing?
Most people wear only 20% of their clothing 80% of the time. That means there can be a large number of clothing items not adding value to your wardrobe. These unworn items need to be looked at to determine of they have a place in your now life and can be combined with other items to create outfits that you will wear.

How Organised is Your Wardrobe?
If you had to rate the organisation of your wardrobe on a scale of 1 – 10 what would it be? A wardrobe without organisation makes it very difficult to find clothing items  and easy to forget what you have. If you can’t easily see and locate items then you will not be wearing them. This can result in:-

  • wardrobe frustrations,
  • daily dressing dilemmas,
  • thinking you have nothing to wear,
  • boredom because you are repeat wearing the same outfits,
  • buying items similar to what you already have because you forgot you had them,
  • spending money on clothing that you may not need or will never wear.

An organised wardrobe is essential for a healthy wardrobe that contributes positively to your daily dressing needs. Read S.O.C. Wardrobe Challenge Task 1 and S.O.C. Wardrobe Challenge Task 2  for a the steps to create an organised wardrobe.

Does the Clothing in Your Wardrobe Fit?

Any clothing that does not fit you physically or support your current lifestyle does not deserve a space in your wardrobe. If you have clothes that do not fit and you wish to keep them store them somewhere other than in your wardrobe. This means that your wardrobe space is reserved for clothing that fits and supports your current day to day needs as well as taking account of changes to our body shape.

How does the Clothing in Your Wardrobe Make You Feel?

This is an important question to ask yourself when shopping or creating an outfit. If you don’t feel right in an item of clothing or outfit than you will not wear it no matter how well it might fit. The clothes in your wardrobe need to fit you physically as well as feel right. If something doesn’t feel right than it indicates that it is not part of your Personality Style. Your Personality Style preferences influences 80% of your style choices and therefore is a strong determining factor to ensure you buy clothes that you are going to love to wear. The elements that influence your preferred choices includes:-

  • colours,
  • comfort level,
  • patterns & prints,
  • level of detail in clothing,
  • accessories,
  • shoe style,
  • make up,
  • scale,
  • hair styles,
  • underwear.

Take a look at the clothes that you are not wearing, Try them on and determine whether they feel right. If they don’t feel right then they may not be meeting your Personality Style preferences.

Quite often when we go shopping others will think that an outfit looks great on you and it probably does but you may feel it isn’t right. Remember to trust your instincts and feeling and say ‘this fits, looks good but isn’t for me.’

Discovering your unique sytyle preferences is part of Individually You’s workshops and style consultations.

What Colours are in Your Wardrobe?

A healthy wardrobe is one where the colour palette cohesively works together to create mix and match outfits. If you have a limited or a mismatched colour palette then it will can be difficult to combine the various clothing items into outfits. When looking at your colour palette don’t forget to take notice of coats, jackets, shoes, necklaces, earrings, scarves, hats and bags.

Neutrals are colours that are not on the colour wheel such as black, navy, charcoal, beige, camel, grey white sand, cream, brown. Having a selection of three different neutrals can give you a greater range of outfit combinations and lessen the impact of feeling bored. Your neutral pieces provide the foundation of key items in your wardrobe. All your other colours need to coordinate with these.

Check to see what other colours you have in your wardrobe and how well they combine together. Everyone has individual colour preferences they prefer to wear. Your wardrobe will always work for you if your colour choices are in harmony with each other and your complexion. When you wear colours that are not in tune with your personal colouring you will not look as healthy, vibrant and glowing.

A colour draping season with a Personal Stylist can discover the best colours for you.

Does the Clothing in Your Wardrobe Suit Your Lifestyle Needs?

You need to keep check of how your wardrobe is supporting your daily needs and determine what type  and level of refinement you need according to your hobbies, personal life, work and social needs. Keeping clothes for a maybe or one day occasion can clutter up your wardrobe and make dressing each a challenge.

What Does Your Wardrobe Need?

Your wardorbe needs clothes that make you feel and look great. The clothes you choose to wear need to bring you joy and be ‘just right’ for you – they need to have the Goldilock’s Principle.

You might also like to read:-

How to Connect the Dots in Your Wardrobe

What Your Wardrobe Doesn’t Need

7 Effective Wardrobe Habits

 

 

 

 

 

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How to Transition Your Wardrobe into a New Season

April 9, 2018

How to Transition Your wardrobe into a New Season

 

HOW TO TRANSITION YOUR WARDROBE INTO A NEW SEASON

How do you transition your wardrobe for a change of season? It can be quite a challenge to create suitable outfits that cater for the changes in temperature that a new season brings. Here in Canberra as we transition from Summer to Autumn our mornings can be quite cool while the days warm up. If you don’t do your preparation then you can find yourself in the uncomfortable position of  either being cold or overheating.

I have to admit that I thoroughly enjoy the change of season because it is a time to look at different outfit combinations that will ensure I am dressed for the possible changes in temperature.

It is worth investing some time at the beginning of a new season to explore which summer clothing items can be transitioned into the new season by combining with items from purchases over the last year. This is the approach that I use to transition my wardrobe into a new season.

BE PREPARED

The starting point for making sure your clothes work for you is to know what you already have to work with. Look through last autumn / winter clothing and find items that you can combine with your present clothing.

RESIST THE URGE TO GO SHOPPING

Before you rush out to the shops to purchase new items identify what you already have so you know what you need to shop for. This will ensure any new purchases will contribute positively to your wardrobe and not be a waste of money.

MIX IT UP

The most suitable items that can make change of season dressing easier could include:-

  • 3/4 and long sleeve shirts / tops,
  • cardigans,
  • shrugs,
  • jackets,
  • vests,
  • scarves,
  • jeans,
  • pants,
  • skirts,
  • tights,
  • leggings.

I have taken a sleeveless dress to create a number of outfits to demonstrate how I play in my wardrobe and create many outfit options that can transition through the weather changes of a new season. Doing this also brings to your attention items that may be missing from your wardrobe. At this time last year I felt challenged with this activity because I did not have any navy jackets or cardigans. Over the past twelve months I have made purchases that have greatly increased my outfit options.

ADD A LAYER UNDERNEATH

Wearing a layer underneath such as a short sleeve or long sleeve top changes the look and provides an added layer for warmth.

How to Transition Your Wardrobe into a New Season - short sleeves under

 

CHANGE SHOES

Having a few different pairs of shoes can change the look and feel of the outfit as well as make the transition from sandals to closed in shoes. These boots are quite casual. I need to purchase a new pair of dressier navy boots for this season.

 

ADD A SCARF AS A WRAP

A scarf is an excellent way to provide some warmth to cater for the beginning of the weather changes.


How to Transition Your Wardrobe into a New Season - scarf as a wrap

 

ADD AN OUTER TOP AND WEAR THE DRESS AS A SKIRT

By wearing a top over a dress you create a look that equates to wearing a skirt. A scarf around your neck helps for the crispness of the morning air.

 

ADD TIGHTS

Wearing tights, stockings or fitted pants under a dress is an easy style options for cooler weather.

 

 

ADD A WOOLLEN LONG LINE CARDIGAN

This woollen cardigan is light weight and warm. It does not add any bulk to my outfit and wearing it open gives the illusion of looking taller and slimmer. (I like that).


How to Transition Your Wardrobe into a New Season - long line cardigan

 

ADD A JACKET

A denim jacket and runners creates a very relaxed outfit to have some fun in.

How to Transition Your Wardrobe into a New Season - denim-jacket-runners

 

This soft structured jacket and jewellery upstyles this outfit.

How to Transition Your Wardrobe into a New Season - add a jacket

 

Wearing a structured jacket and pearls creates a look that is suitable for both professional and more dressy occasions.

How to Transition Your Wardrobe into a New Season - dressing up

 

HOW TO TRANSITION YOUR WARDROBE FOR A NEW SEASON

You have to play and experiment to create new outfits. Having outer layers such as jackets, cardigans along with shoes and accessories that are different levels of refinements means that you have more opportunities for your wardrobe to cater for different levels of dressing.

Hope you are inspired to start creating outfits for the new season.

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What Do You Think of Yourself?

March 9, 2018

 

What do you think of yourself?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOURSELF?

I have two questions for you.

Question 1: Does the shape, weight and size of your friends change how you feel about them?

You have probably answered, ‘No, of course not.’

Question 2: Does your own shape, weight and size stop you from feeling, positive, loving and kind to yourself?

You may have answered, ‘Yes.’

Most woman are critical of their own body and focus on their perceived faults. The reality is that there is no such thing as a perfect body. The female image we see in media images have been altered through medical treatments or digitally enhanced. I am going to repeat myself – there is no such thing as the perfect body. We are all unique and comparing ourselves to others is a pointless exercise that undermines our potential and well being.

Who you are today is what is real. It is time to start accepting, valuing and respecting your NOW BODY- lumps and bumps, cellulilte, weight and wrinkles do not determine the person you are. Just ask your friends. Start to see yourself the way others see you. The reality is that what you see as body faults and flaws others do not even notice. 

It is time to shift your focus and make a difference by gifting yourself kindness and positive thoughts about yourself and your body. Positive thoughts and beliefs can make us stronger, more confident and happier. This is what you would want for a loved one or friend, why not for yourself. Start to see your own self worth.

Making any sort of change can be difficult but it is not impossible. How we think, feel and talk to ourselves influences our inner confidence, self image, relationships, reactions, actions, happiness and dreams.

We all have an inner critic that loves to sow doubt. Take time throughout your busy day to notice  what your inner critic voice is saying. When you become aware of how this voice inside your head sets out to be critical make an attempt to shut it down. I have an imaginary STOP sign that pops up when I hear my inner critic and that has helped me silence that voice that I have allowed to sabotage my thoughts about myself.

 

BE A FRIEND TO YOURSELF

You’ll never find something to wear that makes you feel

beautiful, smart, or loved if you don’t believe that you already are.

project333.com

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What are Your Clothes Saying?

February 12, 2018

What are Your Clothes Saying?

 

WHAT ARE YOUR CLOTHES SAYING?

Our clothes serve a greater purpose than just covering our nakedness. What you put on can have a positive or negative impact on how you feel, look and act. Studies have shown that what you wear can greatly influence your confidence, feelings, moods, productivity and  self concept. Professor

Karen Pine wrote a very interesting article Mind What You Wear: It Can Change Your Life.

How does your clothing make you feel?
When I started working from home I realised that what I wore or didn’t wear greatly effected my productivity. I found that I needed to get out of my pj’s or tracksuit if I wanted to have a positive working day. When I lifted the level of refinement of my outfit from tracksuit to jeans, top & jacket and added a splash of lipstick and earrings I felt in a frame of mind for work and achieved more. It is worth taking notice to how you feel in different outfits both physically and emotionally.

Does the clothing you wear tell your story?
The clothes you wear and how you wear them lets the world know who you are. Our clothing and grooming needs to reflect who we are from the inside out. When you dress to your Personality Style you will look and feel comfortable and confident. Your Personality Style influences your clothing choices in may ways and is an important factor in whether you feel ‘just right’ in your outfit. 

What you wear and how you wear your clothing will change depending on the activity you are dressing for. You need to consider how you want others to perceive you. This will vary depending on whether you  are dressing for a backyard barbeque, going out for dinner, job interview or a professional meeting.

The clothing you wear needs to be a great FIT in many ways – your clothing needs to fit your:-

  • Personality Style
  • Lifestyle
  • Now body shape and proportions

You might like to read Getting Dressed Using the 5 F Principles.

 

 

 

 

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